Simplicity

It's been a whole month since my last post. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I just having been "feelin' it"!!! There has been so much going on in my life lately---some of it good, some of it....well, not so much. I suppose I have allowed the stresses of life to get me down. I would love to take a few days just to "run away" and relax, regroup. But, for most moms in general and homeschool moms in particular, that just isn't an option.

I think, sometimes, I get so bogged down in the day-to-day aspects of living that I forget to take care of me; physically, spiritually, emotionally. Usually, when I'm feeling depleted and in need of a respite from the cares of the world, I go on a walk or take a drive to a favorite place and just soak in the outdoors. Sometimes I'll curl up with a good book---a comforting old favorite---and other times I'll just sit quietly, eyes closed, listening to the sounds of the forest or the ocean or the river. After a few hours, I can feel my spirit and energy renewed and I feel confident enough to leave and take on the mantle of my life again.

One of my favorite spots along the Van Duzen River

Taking time to connect with nature is a vital part of who I am and how I function. I'm sure my affinity with the outdoors, my need for peace and stillness, is directly connected to how I was raised. I love to go and to do, but I love even more to just be. I firmly believe that there is an art to "doing nothing". It is becoming a lost art, to be sure, along with the whole "simplicity movement". There are little pockets of folks all across the world who have rediscovered the joys of simple living and the importance of "doing nothing"and that fact gives me hope.

I have a little booklet that I purchased many years ago from the Elf~help Series produced by Abbey Press. It was written by Linus Mundy and is titled "Keep~life~simple Therapy". Through the years it has provided quiet strength as I try to do what I know to be right. Each "tidbit of wisdom" is numbered with a sweet little illustration by R.W. Alley---I'm going to list all 35 of them just for you.

1. Reduce life to its essence. It is mostly love that matters...and lasts.

2. Reduce love to its essence. It is mostly a knowing and being known. Make the effort, do the work, of getting to know and let your true self be known. You will see the oneness of love and Love.

3. Learn the art of saying "no". When you exclude something, you invariably include something else even more fully.

4. Welcome your role in the drama of creation. Imagine the part you play as a leading role (which it is). But once in a while, keep still and let God speak the parts.

5. Celebrate the ordinary. Your heart knows the comfort and the beauty in common things. Let it tell your head.

6. Don't expect so much from more----and so little from less. Expect a lot from less. You won't be disappointed.

7. It is hard to know when you "have enough". Make the question, "Do I really need more?" part of your life's work.

8. Look to nature for nurture. It is as reliable as the God who provides it.

9. When making choices, opt for the plain, the simple, the functional. Less goes wrong when you stick to life's standard equipment.

10. D0 not pretend to be anything you are not. That way you can always be consistent and truly free.

11. Live in time. Rushing to get one thing over so you can move on to something "more important" is folly.

12. Practice being content. It is both the work and the reward of a lifetime.

13. There is a time for doing---and a time for doing nothing. Don't underestimate the value of porch-sitting and rocking-chairing. They are simple gifts you can give to yourself---and others.

14. Live intentionally. Forget that and your life will be lived for you.

15. Learn to value spiritual things over material things. They last longer, cost less, bring more.

16. Let manual labor, hard work, be a part of your life. You'll be proud of how humble it makes you.

17. Be small and child-like. There is no simpler, better way to see the big picture.

18. Try to eat and live lower on the food and resources chain. You'll be doing a world of good to beings yet unborn.

19. Silence is golden. Seek it and it will quietly enrich your life.

20. Get alone. It is one sure way of getting yourself together.

21. Trust that God supplies you with unlimited good. There is grain left in the field even after the harvest.

22. Remember that the primary reward of hard work is finding meaning and well-being, not money. Forget that and you'll stop being well.

23. Set you desk, your chair, your sink, your sights with a view to the great outdoors. Life is simpler out there.

24. Don't take your life too seriously. Trust in a God who cares for your every need.

25. Don't let work and play be rivals. While each may have a separate place at times, both can also occupy the same space.

26. Know your limits. There is nothing more freeing---or more motivating---than knowing what you can and cannot do well.

27. Learn from life's oldest living things: trees. They impressively break forth with buds and colors--but know innately when it's time to shut down and be unimpressive.

28. Strive to have access to things, not ownership of them. Possess something and it possesses you.

29. Create a ten-second wildflower meadow in your mind whenever you need it. Your imagination can be a great peacemaker in times of chaos.

30. Think small. Planting tiny seeds in the small space given to you can change the whole world---or, at the very least, your view of it.

31. Cultivate the simple virtue of patience. Anticipation is not the only reward for waiting.

32. Don't forget that the longing for simplicity is a spiritual longing. Asking physical things to meet spiritual needs doesn't work.

33. Do only one thing at a time. Putting yourself wholeheartedly into what you are doing---no matter how small or mundane---honors it...and you...and your Creator.

34. Rediscover the joy of a quiet conversation, a simple story or game, an honest expression of affection for another. These simple gifts and pleasures will help keep your life balanced.

35. Know that your true home is in the holy Presence. It's that simple.

A Brand New Year

It seems that California's north coast went quickly from Spring to Fall with just a little bit of Summer thrown in for good measure. Here it is the beginning of a new school year and I feel like the Summer Holiday is yet to start.

"Summer Days" by Dorothea Sharp

Today, amazingly enough, the sun is just peeking out from the mantle of cloud cover, but I have a legitimate suspicion that it won't last long. We've has several days of average summer temperatures and sunshine----certainly nothing memorable.

As I write, the wind is blowing gently through the trees in the backyard and I can hear the sound of a lawnmower nearby. I have clothes out the the line and my "inside chores" are done. My floors are clean, dishes done, rooms tidy. I feel a sense of accomplishment.

So now, it is time to pour over homeschool materials and make some plans for the year; basic plans, no "written in stone", detailed lessons that must be realized. Just a simple roadmap with plenty of space for changes and add-ons and erasures and scribbled notes.

This year, Alex and I are using a curriculum from Oak Meadow that I found at a yard sale. It was brand new, still boxed, in perfect condition. What a find---a curriculum worth hundreds for just $2!!! I only use textbooks as reference, so these are simply materials to use as a guide for the year and to give me some ideas for a course of study in history and science. I prefer a hands-on method of teaching so we try to get out and about as much as we can. I'm particularly excited about Alex's "Nature Journal", which he will use to document and describe what he sees on our outdoor adventures. And, of course, history is always a source of deep joy for me. I love teaching it, reading about it, watching documentaries about various time periods. I am so glad that Alex loves it, too.

I suppose, although Summer seems to have passed us by without much left to show for it, I am ready to begin a new school year. It is always a time to reflect on the previous year and make a commitment to excellence for the coming year. I truly can't imagine doing it any other way. I am privileged to have the opportunity to be an important influence in my child's educational life and to, hopefully, instill in him a love for learning that will last a lifetime.

"We learn best by example and by direct experience because there are real limits to the adequacy of verbal instruction."~~~Malcolm Gladwell

Some Helpful Links About Nature Journals

http://www.sierraclub.org/education/nature_journal.asp

http://lapazfarm.homeschooljournal.net/pages-from-our-nature-journals/

Change

I've been wanting to write a post that addresses my personal spiritual beliefs for some time. I have hesitated and stumbled and wrote and re-wrote, trying to get it exactly, precisely right. I suppose, too, I've been afraid of offending my conservative Christian friends, because much of what I believe to be true is far from the path that these folks I love dearly travel on. I indentify deeply with my Christian roots and upbringing, and many things about being a Christian resonate within me. But, at the same time, I also find great truth in the sacred texts and spiritual writings of other faiths, many of which I've incorporated into my own faith practices.

As the result of a recent "misunderstanding" between myself and a friend concerning differences in religious theology/doctrine, I've been doing A LOT of thinking. Not just random thoughts about any old thing, but specific thoughts about what is really important in my life and about how I have changed spiritually in the last 6 years or so.

I won't go into great detail, but this "misunderstanding" with this particular friend was about an inaccurate biblical and cultural interpretation concerning the traditional concept of "hell". She believes all the "unsaved" (God's enemies) are going there; I don't believe it exists, as taught by today's conservative, evangelical Christians, and as indicated by the original Greek of the New Testament. I rarely share my personal religious beliefs because, well, they're personal. Not everyone needs to be privy to what I believe about any particular issue, religious or otherwise, unless they ask and I feel comfortable enough with that person to tell. But, sometimes, every now and then, I feel absolutely compelled to speak. I occassionally find something so offensive and just outright wrong that I have no choice but to respond.

I realize that some may say I choose to speak up because I'm arrogant and think too highly of myself and my opinions, but that is truly not the case. I always try to respect the beliefs of others, particularly religious beliefs, because they so deeply represent the very soul of that person and how they relate to their world. But, when a biblical concept that has caused untold pain and suffering down through the ages, a concept that was invented to induce fear and servitude, continues to be propagated, even if by well-meaning, good people------well, I just can't keep silent.

As I've been thinking about where I am now and who I am and how far I've come, I feel a sense of purpose. I'm beginning to feel comfortable in my own skin and with what I believe, enough, maybe, to consider sharing that bit of myself with others without fear of condemnation or ridicule. I'm beginning to suspect that I've arrived, or am in the process of arriving, at a place in my life where I can finally not care, quite so much, about what others think of me and just be who I am. Then, of course, there are those times, as with this "misunderstanding", when I think, once again, "Oh, no! You've done it now! You just couldn't keep your mouth shut." At least with "two steps forward and one step back" I'm still making progress----just a little more slowly than I'd like.

I would like to think, though, that I am becoming a kinder, gentler person from what I once was. I'd like to think that I am learning to value people for who they are rather than for what they believe (or don't believe) and that being a friend to and with someone doesn't require that we are on the same path, whether that be religious, political, social, or even geographic. Actually, I find that friendships with those who are quite different from me are eye-opening experiences and wonderful opportunities for learning and growth. I'd like to think that I am a better wife and mother than I once was when I believed that everyone that didn't subscribe to my personal brand of Christianity was doomed to suffer an eternity in "hell"----those kind of thought processes can make a person downright cranky and leave them exhausted from all that judging of others! I'd also like to believe that I'm a better Believer than I once was----that I can love people unconditionally without any "strings", that I can disagree with someone on key points and still respect them. I really believe that is how God, however we choose to see him (or her), loves us. God is just too big to fit into our narrow box of contructs. He is beyond definition in a world that wants everything spelled-out; preferably on a highway billboard so we can read it as we speed past to our next assignment, the next thing on our "to do" list.

I read a fantastic book some months ago by Parker J. Palmer called, The Promise of Paradox. I found that, as I read, I was physically nodding my head on every page, at every paragraph. He perfectly detailed what I believe in such a beautifully profound way. One of my favorite quotes says, "But when Christians claim that their light is the only light and that anyone who does not share their understanding of it is doomed to eternal damnation, things get very dark for me." Things got dark for me, too, once upon a time. So dark, in fact, that I had to step away for awhile. And during that time, I began to examine myself, my beliefs, my practices---my whole person. What I found, and continue to find, surprised me. Somewhere along the way, I had changed. Some changes were very subtle, but some were like the difference between night and day!

I believe with all my heart that God meets us where we are. He comes to us, if we so choose, in a way that we can indentify with, a way that we are able to relate to. We will not all agree on matters of theology or doctrine, we cannot all envision God as the average white, American, Protestant populace does. And, as I said before, God is so much bigger than our minds can conceive and, as detailed in the concept of "inclusivism", God cannot and will not refuse the devotion of a sincere soul who sees him with a different face or calls him by a different name---it is just not in the character of the God I know. In fact, I believe that there is truth in every faith and I find it necessary and enlightening to learn about the many facets of various religions, not just to practice tolerance, but to find the gems of Godly truth within each of them. I suppose, in all honesty, I would have to call myself an Inclusivist/Pluralist----I don't agree with every doctrine presented by every religion, but I believe they all present valid ways in which God speaks to and meets those who genuinely seek Him.

We don't see the big picture, we don't have all the answers, and we may very well be wrong about a lot of things. But, you know what? I'm okay with that. It is much like the Apostle Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:12, "Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely." I say boldly, and with absolute certainty, that "there's a wideness to God's mercy." There is indeed.

"In my Father's house are many mansions."— The Bible, John 14:2

"I believe in the fundamental truth of all great religions of the world. I believe that they are all God-given and I believe that they were necessary for the people to whom these religions were revealed. And I believe that if only we could, all of us, read the scriptures of the different faiths from the standpoints of the followers of these faiths, we should find that they were, at bottom, all one and were all helpful to one another." — Mahatma Gandhi

Naveen Chawla, longtime friend and biographer of Mother Teresa asked her: "Do you convert?" She replied, "Of course I convert. I convert you to be a better Hindu or a better Muslim or a better Protestant. Once you've found God, it is up to you to decide how to worship him."

Robert Schuller interview with Billy Graham
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNCnxA91fHE

UK Apologetics (Inclusivism)http://www.ukapologetics.net/evinc.htm
The Harvard University Pluralism Projecthttp://pluralism.org/pages/pluralism/essays/from_diversity_to_pluralism

Coming Home

"This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave." ~Elmer Davis~

In just a few short days, my oldest son, Ryan, will be on his way home. He has been away for a little over 3 years, serving in the United States Army. What a roller-coaster ride this "Army life" has been for our whole family.

Ryan decided to enlist in the summer of 2006, just as he was beginning his senior year in high school. He was adamant about joining and my husband and I offered our encouragement and support, even though the thought of him being deployed to a war zone was unthinkable.

Just a month after graduation, Ryan left for Basic Training. In October 2007, after receiving his infantry training at Ft. Benning, Georgia, he was posted to the 4th Infantry Division at Ft. Hood, Texas. The Brigade was later re-flagged as the 1st Cavalry Division's 4th Brigade Combat Team, 2nd Regiment, 7th Battalion, and Ryan's orders to deploy to Iraq were soon secured. What was always in the back of my mind was becoming a reality. My son was going to war!

As I started mentally working my way through the certainty of his upcoming deployment, I went through so many different emotions---fear, pride, grief, dread, anger----they all showed themselves during this period of acceptance. My son was a soldier, and it was my job to love and support him through the long, dark days ahead.

Ryan left for Iraq on 10 June 2008. It was the beginning of a very long year----a year of jumping on the internet every morning to see what was going on where he was, hoping that there would be no news, because "no news is good news". It was a year of waking up in the middle of the night wondering what Ryan was doing at that very moment and then sending him my love across the continents and hoping he could feel it. It was a year of faithfully sending "care packages" every two weeks, packing each box a hundred times in a hundred different ways so I could squeeze as much as possible into every corner. It was a year of waiting for word from the FRG (Family Readiness Group) when I read in the news that the FOB (Forward Operating Base) had been mortared and there were casualties or that someone had been killed by an IED and information was pending notification of 'next of kin'. Oh, what a year it was!
.

Ryan made it home, safe and sound, in June 2009. All the prayers, all the candles that were lighted on his behalf, all the loving thoughts that were soaked into the little bag of protection stones that Ryan kept in a pocket of his uniform, the Thor's hammer that he wore with his dog tags and the warrior spirit that it represented, and the good sense and training of both Ryan and his fellow soldiers, all worked together to carry him through. Along with a Muslim prayer cloth and prayer beads, Ryan brought back some amazing stories about his experiences in Iraq----some things that a mother would rather not know her son had to go through, some that were hard to hear.




And now, he's coming home. His contract is up, and, for now, he has decided he needs a break from the Army; a return to a "normal" life, to the area that he loves so much, college, work......LIFE!

What a journey this has been....for everyone. Although it is our sons and daughters who go about the day-to-day routine of Army life, as parents, we live it, too. In a different way, of course, but we live it.

WELCOME HOME, RYAN!!!

*****During the course of Ryan's deployment, I connected with several other 2-7 Cav moms who were dealing with their son's first deployment to a combat zone, as well. Through emails and phone calls, these women became sources of encouragement, support, and hope, to me and I to them. Even though our sons are on their way out of the Army, I continue to keep in touch with them. Cynthia, Karen, and Vicki-----you ROCK!!!!

Living With Fibromyalgia

Hello! My name is Patti, and I have Fibromyalgia. Although this sentence is attributed to the 12 Step Program for Alcoholics, it nonetheless applies to those of us who suffer daily with Fibromyalgia. The first step toward healing is admitting that you have this....thing....this condition/syndrome, that robs you of rest and health and general well-being. It is only after that admission and acceptance that we can move to a place where the quest for knowledge and support can happen.

Knowledge: It is SO very important to be informed about anything that is wrong with our body. In this case, knowledge is, indeed, power!! Because Fibromyalgia is now recognized by the American Medical Association, those of us who live with it can feel more confident about sharing our plight---spreading the word to our family and friends---about what FM is, and isn't. We need not be shamed into thinking that it is "all in your head" or fearful that others will think we are just "faking it".

Support: It is equally important to have the support of those we love and share our life with. It is emotionally hurtful and counter-productive to hear things like, "but, you don't look sick" or "you're hurting again----but you haven't really done anything today that should cause that kind of pain". Hearing those kinds of things can make us feel unloved and usually cause us to just "suck it up" and keep our mouth shut. No one should have to suffer in silence.

The difficult thing about FM is that it is often considered an "invisible" disease. Even though the pain is generally associated with the areas around the joints, there is almost always no inflammation. In fact, most common symptoms associated FM with are internal, in nature, so others can't see the effects it has on on the body. And, sadly, to many, if we don't look sick, we aren't sick.

What, exactly, IS Fibromyalgia? This article is a fantastic overview of what FM is. It is so difficult to define and explain to someone who just has no idea. This particular article should help. It might be a good idea to print it out and give a copy to your close friends and family members.

There are also such misconceptions about Fibromyalgia. This interview with an expert from Mayo Clinic is the best I've read and details those common misconceptions.

Here is a simple description of Fibromyalgia, including a list of common symptoms:

Fibromyalgia is a chronic syndrome that causes pain and stiffness throughout the tissues that support and move the bones and joints. Muscle pain, tender points, and fatigue are the predominant symptoms associated with fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia is very common, affecting up to 5 percent of the U.S. population. Although anyone can get fibromyalgia, eight times as many women develop it relative to men.

Common Symptoms:

~Pain: Most people diagnosed with fibromyalgia feel pain all over their bodies, above and below the waist and on both sides of the body. Many report that the pain is worse at some times than at others. For example, morning stiffness is common, and the pain may be worse on some days than others. The type of pain varies and may be described as burning, aching, shooting, stabbing or tingling. It may also change locations. Headaches and temporomandibular joint (TMJ) syndrome, which causes jaw pain, are also common. Fibromyalgia is a physical illness. Research shows that the brains of people with fibromyalgia handle pain differently from those of “normal people” and that much more of their brains are involved with the pain signal.

~Fatigue: The fatigue of fibromyalgia ranges from the feeling of being slightly tired to the exhaustion of a flu-like illness. The fatigue may always be present to some degree, or it may suddenly sweep over a person like a wave, bringing with it a longing, or need, to lie down.
Some describe their fatigue as feeling like there are concrete blocks tied to their arms and legs. Some also report “brain fatigue” – feeling totally drained of mental energy and having difficulty concentrating.

~Brain Function Problems: Some people with fibromyalgia experience problems with poor concentration, thinking clearly, short-term memory or multi-tasking.

~Sleep Dysfunction: Sleep does not refresh or improve fatigue. Fatigue may be present even after sleeping for 10 to 12 hours.

~Problems with Automatic Body Functioning (Autonomic Nervous System): The autonomic nervous system regulates key functions in our bodies that occur "automatically," without us thinking about them. This includes, for example, keeping our heart beating, our blood pressure regulated, our stomach and intestines functioning properly and our lungs working. When this system is affected by fibromyalgia, a variety of symptoms can occur as a result, such as light-headedness, dizziness/vertigo, heart palpitations, shortness of breath and sweating, diarrhea, constipation, nausea, gas and bloating (all related to IBS--Irrital Bowel Syndrome).

~Hormonal and Endocrine Symptoms: Some people with fibromyalgia have trouble maintaining their body temperature and feel cold all the time or feel hot.

So, as you can see, FM affects many body systems with an amazingly wide range of symptoms. Although Fibromyalgia is not progressive or fatal, living with it on a day-to-day basis can be overwhelming. The pain is crushing, the fatigue is all-consuming, but a restful, refreshing sleep is unattainable.

There is currently NO treatment for Fibromyalgia. Doctors can, and do, prescribe a plethora of medications to help alleviate symptoms, which, in turn, create a load of other symptoms for which additional medications must be taken, etc., etc. I have found that with most ailments, a more natural approach is desirable. There are various homeopathic remedies which some have found helpful and it has been discovered, more recently, that a gluten-free diet may be very effective in treating various FM symptoms, from pain to IBS.

I am 6 full days into a gluten-free diet and I can already notice a difference in how I feel. Now, I can't say whether this improvement will be long-term or not and although this certainly may not work for everyone, it is, in my opinion, worth a try. Gluten intolerance has been linked to a variety of health issues, and considering that approximately 1 in 133 Americans have a problem with gluten, it is no wonder that removing it from our gluten-laden diets makes us feel better.

So, whether or not you choose natural or homeopathic remedies or decide to go with a more "western" approach to your FM care, the most important thing we can do for ourselves is to be educated and pro-active. And equally important is finding and using whatever works for us so that we may enjoy our life and be able to share in the lives of those we love.

Please visit The National Fibromyalgia Association:

http://www.fmaware.org/site/PageServer

"In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer."
-- Albert Camus --

**Most clinical information was obtained from http://www.womenshealthmatters.ca and http://www.healthscout.com.

25 Random Things About ME

1. I LOVE rain!!! The absolutely 'pouring down in buckets' kind of rain. No wimpy "gentle mist" for me!! I also love the feel of the wind in my hair.

2. Closely related to #1----I love, love, love thunderstorms. No place does thunderstorms quite like eastern Kentucky, complete with fantastic lightning displays zig-zagging all across the sky. I used to really enjoy sitting on the porch on a sultry summer night, watching the show. AMAZING!!!

3. My most favorite fictional heroine of all time.....Elizabeth Bennet. Intelligent, down-to-earth, feisty, kind-hearted and truly genuine. What more could I aspire to be.

4. Favorite flower: Wild Roses----the kind that grow in the hedge-rows and smell so heavenly. Cultivated roses are just too perfect for me. Because I am SO not perfect, I like imperfection (and a little wildness) in other things, too. Imperfection gives character and creates interest.

5. One of my regrets-----not keeping my body in shape through the years. It's so much harder to lose weight at 43 than at 23. Oh, to have a great body again!!! I must keep at it.

6. In highschool, I had a few close "girl friends", but lots more "guy friends". I really don't know why. I think, sometimes, men can be less judgmental than many women.

7. I LOATHE drama. I strive to lead a drama-free life as much as possible. I like a quiet, simple life.

8. It has been a life-long dream of mine to visit Tuscany-----a long visit------okay, actually LIVE there, for a little while, at least. I am Italian and I firmly believe that we have a connection to our roots, however physically far removed we may be from them. How amazing it would be to walk the dusty village roads, get to know the local people, put my hands in the soil----in the same soil that my ancestors did, once upon a time.

9. Directly related to #8----a favorite movie of mine, yep, "Under the Tuscan Sun"!!!!

10. I might regret telling this one----I've been covering up the gray since I was in my mid-20s.

11. I have fibromyalgia.

12. I love biscotti, any flavor!

13. Another dream of mine, after living in Tuscany for a while, is to buy a piece of property in the mountains, away from the world, and live off-grid, off the land, in a cabin, surrounded by trees, a river and a lovely meadow nearby----with a garden and some chickens, a few goats, maybe. Pipe dream, I suppose, but at least I can dream.......

14. I adore cats! I can't imagine my life without them in it.

15. I am shamlessly domestic and a little old-fashioned. I enjoy cooking, hanging out my laundry and the general "art of home-making". Don't expect me to apologize for not being a "career-woman" because I won't.

16. I believe that people should SLOW DOWN and enjoy the beauty of doing....."NOTHING"......cloud-watching, front porch-swinging, day dreaming.

17. I love "treasure hunting" in thrift shops.

18. I was born in San Francisco, grew up in Humboldt County, lived in eastern Kentucky for 15 years, and moved back to Humboldt County 6 years ago.

19. I love wearing jeans, knitted sweaters and hats. I am mostly a cooler weather kind of girl, although, as I get older, my body definitely appreciates warmth.

20. I've never met my biological father.

21. I own a single square foot of land on a country estate in Scotland. Really....it's weird, but totally true!!!

22. I used to wear contact lenses, but I was so afraid to stick them on my eyeballs it would take me at least 30 minutes for each eye, so I finally gave up on them and went back to glasses.

23. I spent a week in Canada with my family enjoying Niagara Falls and other various points of interest in Ontario. On the way into the country, cars were randomly being searched and.....yep....our lucky day. We had to pull EVERYTHING out of our car, along with 3 kids and all their travel paraphernalia and stand away from the vehicle while the border patrol/customs people searched our car. Come on!! WHO, in their right mind, would travel to Canada, by car, with THREE tired and cranky kids just to...what....smuggle something illegal into the country???!!! REALLY!!!!!

24. I have spent more vacations in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee than I can count.

25. My oldest son, who is only 21, is an Iraq War veteran, my middle son graduates from high school this year, and I homeschool my youngest son.

Loss

It's been too long since I last posted. I love blogging, but I must say I haven't much been "in the mood".

Just a week and a half before Mother's Day some folks we knew many years ago lost one of their 22 year old triplets, Heath, to Cystic Fibrosis. He was a playmate of my oldest son, Ryan, during the time we attended a little church in the hills of eastern Kentucky during our 15 years in Appalachia. Even a death that is expected seems to take a person by surprise, especially the death of one so young.

And then, just a short two weeks ago, a friend of mine, Danny, that I've known for over 30 years, suffered a massive brain hemorrhage following shoulder surgery. He was pronounced brain dead on May 8, just the day before Mother's Day. Shock....surprise.....disbelief.

I first met Danny when his father came to take the pastorate of the church I grew up in and attended, from infancy, with the grandparents who raised me; he was just 6 years old at the time, I was 10. My husband and I went to see Danny on Saturday---he was being kept alive because he was an organ donor. Although he was really already gone, I wanted to see him one last time, just to say goodbye, I guess, to the body that once housed his spirit. Through his beautiful and generous gift, at least 16 families or individuals have either a more happy, healthy life or have been given more time with their loved one.

Mother's Day was bittersweet this year. I was immensely happy to be celebrating the wonder and joy of being a mother to my three sons, but also hurting for the two mothers I know who are grieving the loss of a son. I can't imagine a pain more real, more intense, than that.

Although I have been deeply saddened over these two losses, I have also been reminded of just how important it is to love my own family, my boys, in tangible ways; to tell them I love them and to show them I love them. I can't just take it for granted that they already know, which I'm sure they do, but they still need to hear my voice telling them and experience my actions showing them. A huge part of my job as a parent is to be love for my children, to be that place of solace and comfort that they can come to when they need it, that they can always count on, that they can recall in a real and even palpable way when I am gone and they can no longer feel my touch or hear my voice.

To my dear fellow mothers, Betsy and Pat: May your God comfort you in a way that only He can as you grieve the loss of your beloved sons.

To Heath and Danny: Fly free now, far above the pain and hurt, beyond the sun and the moon and the stars, to that new world that welcomes you with open arms. Be at rest, for now you truly know the peace that passes all understanding.

Unable are the loved to die, for love is immortality. ~Emily Dickinson